Family is often a tricky subject. Siblings, moms, dads, babies, daughters, sons, in-laws, stepchildren, stepparents, half-siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandma and grandpa. Some are with us, some aren't. Some are parents, others aren't. Some are single, others are married, others are divorced. Some are irritating, others you can't get enough of. Some aren't related, but are family in every other possible way. No matter the amalgamation, it seems as if any time you group humans together in one way or another there's bound to be a bit, or perhaps an abundance, of chaos.
And the wild thing is, everyone experiences it differently. A friend of mine recently pointed out, "every member of a family belongs to a different family." It took a minute for the wheels to start turning with that one, but I found it fascinating once my brain gears clicked into place. Realities and perspectives differ from human to human, so of course our worlds would be perceived differently within family units. At Love Force, we want to capture all of that.
We're kicking off this series in one of the best ways we know how—some realtalk with momma-to-be (round two!) Lauren Andrus about the importance of sensitivity, some truths about parenthood, and at the end of the day, what makes her feel the most complete.
And the wild thing is, everyone experiences it differently. A friend of mine recently pointed out, "every member of a family belongs to a different family." It took a minute for the wheels to start turning with that one, but I found it fascinating once my brain gears clicked into place. Realities and perspectives differ from human to human, so of course our worlds would be perceived differently within family units. At Love Force, we want to capture all of that.
We're kicking off this series in one of the best ways we know how—some realtalk with momma-to-be (round two!) Lauren Andrus about the importance of sensitivity, some truths about parenthood, and at the end of the day, what makes her feel the most complete.
LF: You’re expecting a baby boy this July. What piece advice
would you offer him about the life he’s about to begin?
This is hard for me to answer, I really don’t think there is
one thing that I would tell him. I try
to take each day at a time and teach my kids to become strong, sensitive and
kind. I want them to know that I will be there for them no matter what and
love them more than they will ever be able to fathom.
LF: You mention "strong, sensitive and kind"—why those three attributes in particular?
I think it's a balance. I want my children to be confident and decisive, and I also want to teach them that it's more important to be kind than to be right. I think it's a mistake when people equate strong and confident with being a jerk. And I don't think sensitivity is a weakness; it's so important to show emotion. I want to know what makes them happy, sad, upset, etc. I want them to feel comfortable communicating that with me.
LF: Would you talk more about the value you see in showing emotion and being able to communicate your feelings?
I see great responsibility in raising my children to make this world a better place. It's heartbreaking to see or hear about kids (and adults) that are being mean or bullying others. If I can do my part in teaching my kids to be both strong and sensitive, I think they'll have great influence in the world by modeling for others to be the same way.
LF: What has been challenging about parenthood?
In the beginning, it was so hard. I didn't think I could do it. Honestly, I don't think I expected to give my everything. I don't think I really understood what that meant before becoming a parent. It's indescribably selfless. When Park was first born I remember thinking, "Wait a minute, this isn't fun. This isn't enjoyable." The first few weeks were difficult, I truly wondered why people even did this. I was so used to doing anything and everything I wanted, whenever I wanted to do it. But now I wouldn't want it any other way. The good absolutely outweighs the bad. If Park is kicking and screaming and telling me he doesn't want to go inside the house, I'll be frustrated thinking I couldn't have a more stubborn child. But then a few hours later, he'll put his arms around me and rub my back and cuddle me. It's all completely worth it and I find that those moments give me patience for the tantrums.
I think it really just depends on where you're at as a parent. It definitely ebbs and flows. My friend said the other day, "You go to hell from a party real fast." For example, when my husband comes home from work, Park gets so excited. He calls his name and runs up to him to hug him and it's the absolute best. But then you're trying to put his shoes on to go outside and he starts screaming "No! No! No! No!" at you. And it's been such a long day and you're finally putting him to bed and he's drowsy and falling asleep in your arms and it's the sweetest thing. Sometimes I'll look at his monitor late at night and think, "Can I go wake him up?"
LF: You mention "strong, sensitive and kind"—why those three attributes in particular?
I think it's a balance. I want my children to be confident and decisive, and I also want to teach them that it's more important to be kind than to be right. I think it's a mistake when people equate strong and confident with being a jerk. And I don't think sensitivity is a weakness; it's so important to show emotion. I want to know what makes them happy, sad, upset, etc. I want them to feel comfortable communicating that with me.
LF: Would you talk more about the value you see in showing emotion and being able to communicate your feelings?
I see great responsibility in raising my children to make this world a better place. It's heartbreaking to see or hear about kids (and adults) that are being mean or bullying others. If I can do my part in teaching my kids to be both strong and sensitive, I think they'll have great influence in the world by modeling for others to be the same way.
LF: What has been challenging about parenthood?
In the beginning, it was so hard. I didn't think I could do it. Honestly, I don't think I expected to give my everything. I don't think I really understood what that meant before becoming a parent. It's indescribably selfless. When Park was first born I remember thinking, "Wait a minute, this isn't fun. This isn't enjoyable." The first few weeks were difficult, I truly wondered why people even did this. I was so used to doing anything and everything I wanted, whenever I wanted to do it. But now I wouldn't want it any other way. The good absolutely outweighs the bad. If Park is kicking and screaming and telling me he doesn't want to go inside the house, I'll be frustrated thinking I couldn't have a more stubborn child. But then a few hours later, he'll put his arms around me and rub my back and cuddle me. It's all completely worth it and I find that those moments give me patience for the tantrums.
I think it really just depends on where you're at as a parent. It definitely ebbs and flows. My friend said the other day, "You go to hell from a party real fast." For example, when my husband comes home from work, Park gets so excited. He calls his name and runs up to him to hug him and it's the absolute best. But then you're trying to put his shoes on to go outside and he starts screaming "No! No! No! No!" at you. And it's been such a long day and you're finally putting him to bed and he's drowsy and falling asleep in your arms and it's the sweetest thing. Sometimes I'll look at his monitor late at night and think, "Can I go wake him up?"
LF: So amidst the down times, the discouraging times, who or what helps you the most when you’re in a challenging
period of your life?
I usually make a call to my sister. I know that I can call her and no matter how
crazy or irrational my thoughts are, I know that she's there
to listen and give me advice to help me.
I also go to the beach a lot, even if I’m just walking where I can see
the ocean. It gives me the peace I need to get through life’s speed bumps.
LF: What do you consider your greatest accomplishment?
Being a mother, hands down. I struggled so much with where I wanted to be in life when I was younger, but when I
first held Park in my arms my life felt complete. For me, there's no feeling like it.
Follow Lauren and her budding family at @lauren_andrus on Instagram for some guaranteed adorableness, and even more adorableness come late July. Congratulations on the plus one, Andrus family.
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