Transcendental: An Interview With Nichel Schwarz

The radiant Nichel Schwarz takes us to an altogether higher plane as she talks with Love Force about goals, the universe, and a little bit of Emerson. (Editor's note: This is one of the most genuine women you'll ever encounter. She is sunshine.)

LF: What are things that you’ve done in your life that make you proud of yourself?

Accomplishing goals. This sounds so simple but when I accomplish a goal I set, I am proud of myself. When I was about to graduate high school, I set a list of 100 goals for myself for the next five years and in that list of goals were things as complex as "graduate college" and goals as simple as "go skydiving." I'm proud to say I've accomplished 96 of those goals. The goals I'm most proud of accomplishing are:

1. First and foremost, I'm proud of marrying my husband

2. Secondly, graduating college

3. Attending a semester abroad 

4. Learning how to love myself 

5. Conquering my biggest fears 

6. Never losing an opportunity to understand someone 

LF: Who or what do you most connect with? Why?

This is so cliché, but my whole life I've felt a connection with the sky and the earth. I truly believe we each have a star shining for us; I've believed this for as long as I can remember. Every time I take a minute to breathe in the fresh air of our earth, really examine the mountains, or feel the salty ocean on my skin, I feel connected with the universe and God. This world is amazing. If you feel alone, if you need hope, or need to feel loved, look into the night sky and focus on the stars, float on your back in the ocean and close your eyes and listen to the water beat against your ear drums. It heals. I have a deep love and passion for the world and the universe—it's always there for us to connect with. It’s a constant and always will be.

LF: If joy became an international currency, what kind of work would make you wealthy?

The times when I feel the most joy are the times when I'm not focused on myself. This is something I truly came to learn and understand my freshman year of college. If joy became an international currency the work that would make me wealthy is helping others. Immersing myself in new countries is the other thing that makes me feel the most joy. Doing humanitarian work in countries around the world with my husband, this is the thing that would make me wealthy. 

LF: Do any of the things that used to upset you a few years ago matter at all today? If so, what’s changed?

The only things that upset me a few years ago that still matter are the things not about myself things like global warming, equality, extreme poverty, foreign aid. The things that aren't about myself are things that still matter. The things that upset me a few year ago that don’t anymore were things relating to myself, and these things can slowly break you down. Don’t let what others think of you affect you; don't worry about what outfit you're going to wear, if you're skinny enough, or if you have enough likes on Instagram—because it doesn't matter. Wear whatever you want, post whatever you want, and be yourself because none of it matters. These things have changed for me in the past few years because, I believe, my perspective on life has been broadened. This is so much more out there than we know. My heart and mind have been opened. 

LF: What’s something that you struggled or struggle with that you feel you’ve improved on?

I struggle to express my opinions and ideas. Usually, this is because I love hearing what other people have to say but it's also because sometimes I am afraid to be wrong, judged, or to clash with someone else’s viewpoint. In Self Reliance, Ralph Waldo Emerson writes, "A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light which flashes across his mind from within . . .” Never pass up an opportunity to be heard, to express yourself, or to be understood. Be yourself don't be afraid to express your beliefs, thought, ideas, or take action about something that matters to you. And if someone doesn't agree with you, you don't have to apologize. Don't miss an opportunity to share something so uniquely wonderful that is yours, something that came from your beautiful mind. This is something I have struggled with and something I still struggle with. One day I hope to fully live by Emerson’s words.

Soak up more of this girl's light and love on Instagram at @nichelschwarz

Your Own Worst Enemy or Your Own Best Friend

People have told me I'm a good advice-giver. And I appreciate that, because I hope to be helpful, to share with others my own experiences and learnings, and to encourage them to explore their own selves in pursuit of answers. (So much of the time, the answer is inside of us, anyways.) But the other day I got to wondering how much of the time I'm actually a terrible advice-giver when the individual seeking the advice is me.

It even happened with the launch of this blog. My mind was full of thoughts like, "What if this is just dumb?" "What if nobody cares about Love Force?" "What if I'm just coming off as pretentious?" "What if I am pretentious?" I was drowning in my own self-doubt and negativity when a quote I had read earlier in the week passed through my mind: "If you had a friend that spoke to you the way you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend?" It was such a clear metric in that moment—I didn't want anything to do with that woman. She was so timid and rootless, and I wanted to be courageous and full of heart. I reimagined the situation as if I was talking with a friend who was having doubts about a project she was working on, and my whole energy shifted. I was excited for her, I was encouraging, I was eager to uplift her and cheer her on. It was such a powerful exercise, and admittedly, a little scary—I initially was so hard on myself.

Each of us has immense influence, and I try to remember that as I go fumbling through life, attempting to be conscious of the fact that nearly every thought we have, nearly every decision we make can either be constructive or destructive. On my best days, I'll consider, "Am I helping or harming here?" It was a mind-opener to realize that I rarely (if ever!) consider that when it comes to myself.

So I'm curious, have you ever tried this exercise? What kind of friend are you to you?

(For some help and learning around how to rid yourself of all of those negative thoughts, I highly recommend Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now.)

(Image by Amanda Marsalis)

What the Plants Taught Me: An Interview with Jacqueline Francis

Love Force caught up with the brilliantly dynamic Jacqueline Francis, who talks with us about passion, who she is (and isn't), and how a greenhouse got her heart racing years ago and why it hasn't stopped since.

LF: You’re a floral designer. What led you to that?

I'm a floral designer, I'm a lot of things and people, and I don't know if there's ever one name for anyone other than their own. My little girl taught me that one day when I tried to define her with a description. I said, you are so this and this and she turned to me and said quite matter of factish, "No Mom, I'm Grace." And she is basically right. I'm Jacqueline. That means I'm a full time mom, I'm a daytime law firm staff (seriously I'm doing everything right now #ethical) I'm a florist with bigger dreams than my wallet, and a complete plant nerd. What led me to BEING was what I think leads every single one of us into enlightenment of our truest self– dark, unknown, crummy, unexpected, tough paths. And nature echoes that law. You don't get a rose without a ton of thorns. I've got scars to prove that. And T-Swift sings about it–so it's probably true. 

LF: From an artistic standpoint, how does floral design impact your life and how you see the world?

See above.

LF: You’re incredibly talented at what you do. What would you consider is your greatest strength? Have any of your recent actions demonstrated this strength?

I think my greatest strength is vulnerability. I'm very open with myself and others. It's a source and place that is utterly void of regret. I like to think this is a space in myself where creating is its own live throbbing thing. It is always evolving and always changing. It is affected by everything and everyone I internalize. I draw on that strength every time I design anything. So that's what you see in my work–it is vulnerability. Mostly with flowers I let them do what they do–they do the hard work, I just introduce them to each other.

LF: At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

That's easy. And that's two questions. I feel most alive right now. Because I am. And I know what I live for. But when do I feel most passionate? I can't ever forget this, but it began one foggy burnt orange-lit night as a student in the Horticulture program at my university when a fellow student snuck me into the propagation seedling greenhouse and I stood there and knew I was a goner. I mean, my senses devoured that moment like a first kiss, like I would never live again. I looked out over those endless rows of every shade of green you can and cannot imagine and felt small. Small lives and air so clean it hurt your nose. And light so bright you forgot about the sun. And I was hooked. Flowers had me. I spent the rest of the summer pinching transplants from campus and buying every size pot from Walmart that they had–I'm not kidding I filled my vacuum with dirt in less than a month. I knew I'd do anything to make more life. Designing grew from that. Literally. I had to cut the plants for them to grow more. (Another life lesson). 

LF: What are the top five things you cherish in your life?

Five things: the earth, my family, laughter, Grace (all definitions), myself. (Anyone who tells you differently on that last one is lying. We are propelled by the discovery of our own souls).

LF: If you had the opportunity to get a message across to a large group of people (think millions) what would your message be?

Our passions teach us about life. And love. I learned more from the flowers than about them that semester. And I carry that in me.

To drool over Jacqueline's work (and rack your brain for reasons why you need to throw a party with flowers, lots of flowers) visit her floral design website here. To drool over the party that Jacqueline herself is, check out her Instagram account here.

Getting After It

There's something about meeting someone else who's liberated, someone that's getting after life in earnestness. It seems as though those who are unapologetically trying and thus, becoming, give others a sort of permission to get after it themselves. And the ironic part is that that liberation and earnestness we admire in them has little to nothing to do with "having it all figured out"—but rather having the courage to lean a little further into life every day, embracing the joy and the pain and everything in between.

Who's someone in your life who lives theirs in a way that gives you and others permission to get after it? Love Force will frequently be featuring women from all walks of life that are stepping into their light. We know a lot of women that inspire us to grow and expand, unapologetically, and we know you do too. Tell us about them (or you!) in the comments below or via email at loveforceblog@gmail.com.

Here's to getting after it.

(Image by Emily Stein)

What Love Force Is and What Love Force Isn't

We are a community and a haven that takes seriously the things that need to be taken seriously and takes lightly things like rules, expectations, and the "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts". What follows is a manifesto of what we feel in our guts, inspired and instructed by life:

We believe in:

Authenticity
Being radically alive to one another

Establishing lines of healthy communication

Empowerment

Building one another up

Encouraging one another to seek after truth

Passion

Opening hearts rather than closing minds

Never settling for less than who you are

Learning

Breaking the silence on things that matter

Unity over division

Creating spaces of safety

The power of love

We think that:

Each of us has a duty to support one another

We have less to apologize for than we think

Openness and accessibility are key to helping others

Our choices should be dictated by hope rather than fear

We need to spend more time cherishing one another and less time tearing each

other down

All of us have things to learn and all of us have things to teach

Everyone has the power to change the world

One person's success is not another's failure

We won't tolerate:

Hate

Destructive commentary

What's a Coachella?

The idea for this blog originated (literal) years ago. You could say the inspiration for it arose as my younger self waded through teenagehood, mostly unanchored and with a lot of unanswered questions about who I was and where I was going. In that regard, it wasn't terribly different from most teenagehoods—some regrets here, some rebellion there. But most of all, I felt like I was grasping for some sort of guidance that didn't exist the way that I needed it to. And it was paradoxical, as so many things are, because the last thing I wanted was to be told what to do, yet I yearned for some sort of outlet or resource where I could at least learn more about the options I had in growing up and becoming somebody.

I created Love Force because I wanted to create the space that I needed so desperately a decade ago, and often still need now. Because I know that I'm not the only woman—human—in the world that's seeking to thrive.

But what's a love force?

Before I tell you that, I need to tell you about India in the early 20th century. Mahatma Gandhi was leading a movement of non-violence seeking Indian independence from British rule. It was throughout these years that he developed the philosophy of satyagraha. The word satyagraha is a compound of the Sanskrit words satya (meaning "truth") and agraha (meaning "to grasp or hold"). Satya is derived from the word "sat", which means "being". Together, satyagraha came to be understood as adherence to, or pursuit of truth. But its application expanded beyond non-violence. In his own words, Gandhi described: "Truth (satya) implies love, and firmness (agraha) engenders and therefore serves as a synonym for force. I thus began to call the Indian movement Satyagraha, that is to say, the Force which is born of Truth and Love . . ." (M.K. Gandhi, Satyagraha in South Africa). Satyagraha became a "truth-force", a "love-force" and a "soul-force" that inspired the likes of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Nelson Mandela in their quests for the betterment of humanity. In a 2006 interview, Gandhi's grandson Arun Gandhi explained, "My grandfather believed that truth should be the cornerstone of everybody's life and that we must dedicate our lives to pursuing truth, to finding out the truth in our lives. And so his entire philosophy was the philosophy of life. It was not just a philosophy for conflict resolution, but something that we have to imbibe in our life and live it all the time so that we can improve and become better human beings."

Inspired by satyagraha, Love Force is about truth, and about being alive, and about what those two things mean for us (both individually and collectively) when they're intertwined together. Though this blog likely won't liberate a nation or turn the tide of oppressive tyranny, it will serve as a space for readers and participants to pursue their truth, to improve and to become better human beings. Because love is the most powerful force in the world.