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Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Your Own Worst Enemy or Your Own Best Friend


People have told me I'm a good advice-giver. And I appreciate that, because I hope to be helpful, to share with others my own experiences and learnings, and to encourage them to explore their own selves in pursuit of answers. (So much of the time, the answer is inside of us, anyways.) But the other day I got to wondering how much of the time I'm actually a terrible advice-giver when the individual seeking the advice is me.

It even happened with the launch of this blog. My mind was full of thoughts like, "What if this is just dumb?" "What if nobody cares about Love Force?" "What if I'm just coming off as pretentious?" "What if I am pretentious?" I was drowning in my own self-doubt and negativity when a quote I had read earlier in the week passed through my mind: "If you had a friend that spoke to you the way you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend?" It was such a clear metric in that moment—I didn't want anything to do with that woman. She was so timid and rootless, and I wanted to be courageous and full of heart. I reimagined the situation as if I was talking with a friend who was having doubts about a project she was working on, and my whole energy shifted. I was excited for her, I was encouraging, I was eager to uplift her and cheer her on. It was such a powerful exercise, and admittedly, a little scary—I initially was so hard on myself.

Each of us has immense influence, and I try to remember that as I go fumbling through life, attempting to be conscious of the fact that nearly every thought we have, nearly every decision we make can either be constructive or destructive. On my best days, I'll consider, "Am I helping or harming here?" It was a mind-opener to realize that I rarely (if ever!) consider that when it comes to myself.

So I'm curious, have you ever tried this exercise? What kind of friend are you to you?

(For some help and learning around how to rid yourself of all of those negative thoughts, I highly recommend Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now.)

(Image by Amanda Marsalis)

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