All of the Things I'm Not by Aymie Haslam

I’m not a very good storyteller. I can also assure you that my laugh is dreadfully annoying, I am a frequent attendee of “The Pity Party” (always my own, of course) and I can over think things to the point of exhaustion. But…we’ll get to all that shortly.

Taylor asked me, “What are the top three things you’d want people to know about you?”

Uh…everything…and nothing? I couldn’t mention one thing without qualifying it. When I finally thought of a few things I couldn’t get the words to come together. What do you, the reader, want to know about me?! Nothing really. I am of almost no significance to you other than the fact that I am someone writing for a blog you frequent. I’m just some nobody Canadian, living a rather uneventful life. I will say that, for the sake of this post, you NEED to know that I love myself, but it wasn’t always that way.

Growing up is tough on everyone. If you’re not dealing with a bully, you’re dealing with making friends or struggling with how much time you get on the computer …or all three. There is always something dissatisfying, disheartening, or flat out unfair. As a child, I remember being so insecure, so uncomfortable in my own skin; I was consumed by an almost paralyzing anxiety. I was constantly haunted by feelings of inadequacy, drowning in the possibility that I may never be good enough.

If my laugh didn’t sound right, or I told a story that ended up having no real point or conclusion I would get sucked into a cyclone of self-hate. Eventually these toxic assessments of my self began to manifest in physical retribution. The scars on my body now remind me to always be there for myself, because some times no one else can.

I have since over come most of those struggles. I still have bad days. Nights when I can’t sleep because I am thinking of all the things I’m not. I also have better days that show me how capable I am. I have a strong belief in choosing who you want to be. In letting go of your own past and creating a brighter future for yourself despite the influence of others. My family is a constant strength for me. My faith holds me together when nothing else will. When things really get tough I just go and get my eyebrows done because oddly enough a new set of brows makes me feel like a Nubian Queen. I make sure to take time for myself. I feel truly alive when I am alone in a crowded place. I once spent an evening alone in a Roman piazza just eating and people watching. That may have been the best part of my trip.

Sometimes I give up too soon. I worry too much. I will always find a way to fall off something. I am littered with flaws. However, I don’t take myself too seriously, anymore. I give amazing hugs and I’m very determined and ambitious. We must learn to laugh at ourselves and enjoy our own company. If you find that you are not, I would encourage you to live the law of acceptance of yourself. It is not an excuse to live in mediocrity, but allows you healthy space to work on self-improvement. It makes life just a little easier to live. Also, if you have another moment to spare, run over to Tyler Ford’s post Too Much. It touched my heart and I hope it speaks to you too.

Thank you for reading.

Aymie is so real, so earnest, and so inspirational. Also the Nubian Queen comment makes me fall in love with her even more. Find her on Instagram at @aymielu and you'll fall in love with her too (if you haven't already).

Bath Power

I never would have anticipated writing a post about baths on Love Force, but I do anticipate writing a lot of posts about self-care, a category which I think baths absolutely fall under. Because when the going gets tough, I get into the tub.

As I mentioned on our Instagram, it feels like it's been a challenging few weeks. Some personal heartaches have hit our family, but it seems like worldwide, we've got some serious sorrow on our hands. Our thoughts and prayers go out to those that are struggling, suffering and wondering when it's going to get better. You are not alone.

In the words of our motto, Love Force is about truth, about being alive, and about what those two things mean for us (both individually and collectively) when they're intertwined together. A truth about being alive: sometimes life feels insurmountable. Another truth: self care (intentional actions you take to care for your physical, mental and emotional health) is a very real thing, and is vital to moving through and healing from pain. Self care can take all sorts of forms—anything from meditation to hugging your dog to doing a puzzle to going for a walk to having a good laugh or a good cry. Taking care of ourselves and others is a key component in contributing to a more peaceful world (and no, it's not selfish).

Which leads me to bath time.

The other night I got home from work, not having slept much the night before, and went straight to the bathtub. My husband walked in to a dark and quiet apartment and must have seen candlelight flickering off of our bathroom walls through the door crack as he slowly pushed it open. I had propped my iPad up on the counter and was watching David Attenborough's Life series (available on le Netflíx) because nature shows are one of my go-to 'happy places'.

"You doing okay?" he asked. I shifted my eyes up at him. "It's a bathtub cinema kind of night," I replied, my chin not leaving its Jabba the Hutt position on my chest. Bathtub cinema. He gets it.

Turns out hydrotherapy (ultimately using water to promote health and well-being in a myriad of forms) has been around for centuries, and with good reason. Records of its use have been found in Egyptian, Persian, Greek, Chinese and Japanese civilizations, for all sorts of medicinal uses ranging from detoxification to improving circulation.

I swear by baths, and was totally tickled to see that the Scientific American covered a study done by researchers at Yale called The Substitutability of Physical and Social Warmth in Daily Life, which can be translated to mean: "Hot Baths May Cure Loneliness". From the study:

More recently, Williams and Bargh (2008) showed that incidental warmth experiences (such as when holding a cup of hot coffee or taking a warm bath) produce “warm” psychological experiences of trust and behavioral effects on generosity, without the person’s awareness.

To add on to feelings of trust and generosity, baths are credited with improving focus and meditation, boosting brain power, soothing muscles (menstrual cramps included), relieving stress, aiding sleep, healing skin conditions like eczema, reducing infection, alleviating colds and headaches and improving circulation, to name a few. And if those things can help us to be our best, healthiest selves, we're in.

If you're in need of inspiration, do yourself a favor and watch this beautiful National Geographic video of Japanese macaques (or snow monkeys) meditating in hot springs. What I would give to just slip right in with them.

Images via Marta Gil, Taylor Radelia and Salva López.