How do you express your love? Love Force interviewed a handful of folks that take to letter-writing. Meet Brianne, Mandy, Katie, Sarah, James, Sara and Donnie—their answers to Snapchat, emotions and sealing wax below.
Brianne Dosch: It’s the whole cliché answer that it’s just more personal. When I’m far away from someone it makes me feel closer to that person to send him or her something I touched, that they will touch. Not only is my heart on that paper, I’m on that paper. It makes people seem closer and messages more meaningful.
Sara Ikonen: To me hand-written letters are something tangible and much more personal than an email (plus, I don’t use Snapchat in the first place – one part of me is pretty old school when it comes to technology.) The reader can see me on the paper, not just through the words and what they convey but through the one by one written letters that have a unique flair to them. I try to keep some good things alive from the past – and hand-written letters definitely belong in that category.
LF: It's 2015—we've got email, text, and most importantly, Snapchat. Why the handwritten letter?
Sara Ikonen: To me hand-written letters are something tangible and much more personal than an email (plus, I don’t use Snapchat in the first place – one part of me is pretty old school when it comes to technology.) The reader can see me on the paper, not just through the words and what they convey but through the one by one written letters that have a unique flair to them. I try to keep some good things alive from the past – and hand-written letters definitely belong in that category.
Mandy Prasad: With technology everywhere in our daily lives (computers, phones, tablets), it is so much nicer to know that someone else put down their device, dug through a drawer to find a pen and some paper, write the letter, find an envelope, stamp it, and mail it.
Katie Fuhriman: Think of how you felt when you received a note from your crush, with your name penned across the top and their signature at the bottom, with, if you were really lucky, a heart slash or maybe even the word “love.” All in his handwriting. It was like I had a little piece of my special someone with me no matter where I carried that note, something that no one else had or could ever duplicate. It saddens me to think that kids these days might not get to experience that. That all they get is a text, which maybe someone else wrote only as a joke. Because when it’s not handwritten, you can never know for sure who really wrote it. It didn’t always matter what the notes said. It was just the fact that they took the time to write it in their own handwriting that made it special. I fear that although we are in constant communication, maybe we’re not communicating as much. I write handwritten letters because they are more meaningful, in my opinion. They require more effort, more time, a stamp, a walk to your mailbox. More thought and consideration. And I think everyone deserves that.
LF: How often do you turn to pen and paper for communication? Do you find yourself hand-writing letters on certain occasions or in particular circumstances?
LF: How often do you turn to pen and paper for communication? Do you find yourself hand-writing letters on certain occasions or in particular circumstances?
Sarah Chandler: I write a lot, it's the best way for me to relieve my feelings and express myself. I write a lot when I travel because I don't always have a phone or computer available, but I can always write.
James Choi: Reflecting back on the few times that I've hand-written notes recently, it's been mostly for special occasions. Christmas cards, sexy notes, thinking of you post-its. The activity of handwriting, I feel, serves almost as an exclamation point. It's easy and convenient to text a "good morning", "thinking of you", or email a "Merry Christmas", but when I look back at times I specifically took to pen and paper, it was to emphasize emotion. Turbo charge it, if you will, to really signify what I'm trying to communicate.
Sara Ikonen: I would say at least once a month. I write letters specifically to my dad and grandma – I haven’t seen either of them for years. They are extra special people to me, so they deserve extra special things. I usually also slip a few photos in the envelope to accompany the letter. My grandma doesn’t know anything about computers or cellphones, and my dad isn’t tech savvy either. Letters are basically my only way of staying in touch with them since they live in Finland and Sweden respectively. I also write letters to my man in Australia even though we chat/call/Skype/text several hours every day. Again, I just feel like it’s something more concrete – like a little piece of me. I also love the surprise factor of when the letter gets to its destination; plus, there’s something romantic about hand-written letters too.
Brianne Dosch: I write hand written letters to my husband (about weekly) and especially for occasions (like the first day of something, anniversaries etc), but I also write hand written letters to my only sibling who lives in Utah. We do this stupid thing where we write letters like we’re in Pride and Prejudice era. It’s kind of fun and quirky.
Brianne Dosch: I write hand written letters to my husband (about weekly) and especially for occasions (like the first day of something, anniversaries etc), but I also write hand written letters to my only sibling who lives in Utah. We do this stupid thing where we write letters like we’re in Pride and Prejudice era. It’s kind of fun and quirky.
Katie Fuhriman: Before my sister and I both got married, we used to write each other letters every time we went through a hard breakup. It didn’t heal all the heartache, but it did bring a smile to my face every time I sent or received one of those letters.
LF: Have you always taken time for hand-written notes? Did someone or something in your life inspire you to starting sending physical letters rather than digital notes?
Sarah Chandler: I've always loved hand-written notes; my childhood best friend and I started writing letters to each other when she moved. E-mail wasn't a thing and we loved to decorate the envelopes and send pictures. It was just so exciting to wait for something in the mail. I watched this movie about letter writing where this older gentlemen writes letters of love and encouragement to random people in the phone book—it's helped encourage me to keep writing cheery notes.
Brianne Dosch: My Grandma Fischer (on my mom’s side) got me into letter writing. She has bookcases and bookcases full of journals from her life. So we started a letter journal. She would start a journal with a letter to me and then mail it to me. Then I would reply in the journal and then send it back to her. It always made me want to write letters like her for the rest of my life.
James Choi: I remember getting letters from families and friends when I was younger, and seeing the lilt of their penmanship on the paper brought gratitude—they took specified time to handwrite me a letter. I figure it's difficult to multitask or be playing Candy Crush when handwriting a letter. (Unless one has four arms, which would be awesome and akin to my fave Mortal Kombat character.) So really, it's the effort that I appreciate. I don't keep all of my emails, but I've kept every single leaf of paper that friends and family have taken time to pen.
Katie Fuhriman: I do probably owe some of my inspiration to my Grandma Bowers, because she hand-writes notes or letters for every occasion and always has. She used to write me a letter at least once a month when I lived in Hawai'i, because I was so far away and she wanted to show me how much she cared and missed me. It was very sweet.
LF: Have you always taken time for hand-written notes? Did someone or something in your life inspire you to starting sending physical letters rather than digital notes?
Sarah Chandler: I've always loved hand-written notes; my childhood best friend and I started writing letters to each other when she moved. E-mail wasn't a thing and we loved to decorate the envelopes and send pictures. It was just so exciting to wait for something in the mail. I watched this movie about letter writing where this older gentlemen writes letters of love and encouragement to random people in the phone book—it's helped encourage me to keep writing cheery notes.
Brianne Dosch: My Grandma Fischer (on my mom’s side) got me into letter writing. She has bookcases and bookcases full of journals from her life. So we started a letter journal. She would start a journal with a letter to me and then mail it to me. Then I would reply in the journal and then send it back to her. It always made me want to write letters like her for the rest of my life.
James Choi: I remember getting letters from families and friends when I was younger, and seeing the lilt of their penmanship on the paper brought gratitude—they took specified time to handwrite me a letter. I figure it's difficult to multitask or be playing Candy Crush when handwriting a letter. (Unless one has four arms, which would be awesome and akin to my fave Mortal Kombat character.) So really, it's the effort that I appreciate. I don't keep all of my emails, but I've kept every single leaf of paper that friends and family have taken time to pen.
Katie Fuhriman: I do probably owe some of my inspiration to my Grandma Bowers, because she hand-writes notes or letters for every occasion and always has. She used to write me a letter at least once a month when I lived in Hawai'i, because I was so far away and she wanted to show me how much she cared and missed me. It was very sweet.
LF: Talk us through the emotions—from the writing itself to the sealing in the envelope to the placing in the mailbox.
Donnie Winter: Total excitement. While my girlfriend lived overseas, I got to write her letters, it was not a chore whatsoever. I am way more expressive in my letters, so it was so much fun coming up with jokes, drawings, and talking about different learnings and things like that. Sealing the envelope is a feeling of accomplishment, weirdly enough. Just the thought of, "Yeah, she's going to love this one!" And after sealing it I would draw something or write a quote from a TV show or movie on the back; just still having so much fun with it. Oh, and cute stamps (Harry Potter, obvi). But shortly after dropping the letter into the mailbox, there comes a feeling of "longing" I guess. I knew I would get an email from her soon, but I wanted a letter back from her right then, you know? It definitely made me more patient.
Mandy Prasad: There can be a lot of emotions when writing a letter – it depends a lot on what’s going on in your life and what’s going on in the other person's. A couple months ago, I was driving in the car by myself, and the song that my dad and I danced to at my wedding came on the radio. It’s an older song from 1993, so it doesn’t usually come on to the radio. Instead of texting my dad or calling him, I wrote him about it. I know he likes to keep mementos, and so I sent the postcard hoping he’d be able to keep it and know that I think about him and appreciate him in my life.
James Choi: Writing the actual letter is the source of about 80% of the emotion (gratitude, sorrow, sympathy, pride) and 20% is just impatience. When it comes to mailing it, sealing the envelope is 20% "Please don't cut my tongue" and 80% "Hell yeah." Placing in mailbox: 100% "I hope this doesn't get lost."
Katie Fuhriman: I start to feel committed and even a little bit excited. When I’m actually writing the letter, I’m thinking of what I want to say, I’m laughing along with the funny parts, and I’m smiling as I imagine the recipient’s reaction to what I’m writing. It’s like a conversation that, in a way, I get to enjoy twice – while I’m writing it, and when they end up reading it.
Sara Ikonen: When I write, I’m in a flow. It’s a self-reflective process just like when writing in my journal but now with someone special as my audience. When I’m done and get to seal it and drop it in the mailbox, I feel accomplished. I estimate what day the recipient will find the letter in their mailbox and what is going on in their life on that day.
LF: Do you ever personalize your mail or have any favorite styles/methods of delivery? (For example, you seal it with a kiss, or with wax, or you mail painted coconuts instead of envelopes.)
Mandy Prasad: I’ve never thought about it until now, but I guess I do have a style. Usually at the end of my letters, I’ll write an inside-joke sort of phrase as a closing phrase. While some might say “love, so-and-so,” I’ll write something that signifies our relationship together and that only the two of us know and are a part of.
Donnie Winter: Total excitement. While my girlfriend lived overseas, I got to write her letters, it was not a chore whatsoever. I am way more expressive in my letters, so it was so much fun coming up with jokes, drawings, and talking about different learnings and things like that. Sealing the envelope is a feeling of accomplishment, weirdly enough. Just the thought of, "Yeah, she's going to love this one!" And after sealing it I would draw something or write a quote from a TV show or movie on the back; just still having so much fun with it. Oh, and cute stamps (Harry Potter, obvi). But shortly after dropping the letter into the mailbox, there comes a feeling of "longing" I guess. I knew I would get an email from her soon, but I wanted a letter back from her right then, you know? It definitely made me more patient.
Mandy Prasad: There can be a lot of emotions when writing a letter – it depends a lot on what’s going on in your life and what’s going on in the other person's. A couple months ago, I was driving in the car by myself, and the song that my dad and I danced to at my wedding came on the radio. It’s an older song from 1993, so it doesn’t usually come on to the radio. Instead of texting my dad or calling him, I wrote him about it. I know he likes to keep mementos, and so I sent the postcard hoping he’d be able to keep it and know that I think about him and appreciate him in my life.
James Choi: Writing the actual letter is the source of about 80% of the emotion (gratitude, sorrow, sympathy, pride) and 20% is just impatience. When it comes to mailing it, sealing the envelope is 20% "Please don't cut my tongue" and 80% "Hell yeah." Placing in mailbox: 100% "I hope this doesn't get lost."
Katie Fuhriman: I start to feel committed and even a little bit excited. When I’m actually writing the letter, I’m thinking of what I want to say, I’m laughing along with the funny parts, and I’m smiling as I imagine the recipient’s reaction to what I’m writing. It’s like a conversation that, in a way, I get to enjoy twice – while I’m writing it, and when they end up reading it.
Sara Ikonen: When I write, I’m in a flow. It’s a self-reflective process just like when writing in my journal but now with someone special as my audience. When I’m done and get to seal it and drop it in the mailbox, I feel accomplished. I estimate what day the recipient will find the letter in their mailbox and what is going on in their life on that day.
LF: Do you ever personalize your mail or have any favorite styles/methods of delivery? (For example, you seal it with a kiss, or with wax, or you mail painted coconuts instead of envelopes.)
Mandy Prasad: I’ve never thought about it until now, but I guess I do have a style. Usually at the end of my letters, I’ll write an inside-joke sort of phrase as a closing phrase. While some might say “love, so-and-so,” I’ll write something that signifies our relationship together and that only the two of us know and are a part of.
Donnie Winter: No red lipstick seals for me, but I used to pick flowers and press them when they were in bloom. It was hard in the winter, but I tried to send pressed flowers as often as I could. She's the kind that deserves a flower a day, you know?
Brianne Dosch: I like to find pretty stamps to put on all my envelopes, and I always try to write on parchment (generally from Papyrus) and I have wax seals I break out occasionally too—I even have a cat one.
Katie Fuhriman: I don’t get too creative here, but I do write nicknames on the envelope instead of just the person’s regular name. I’m sure I have made a few mailmen (and mailwomen) laugh with some of the weird names I put on the envelopes I send. A lot of times I'll decorate the envelope with little drawings or song lyrics as well.
LF: What’s your favorite letter you’ve ever sent? What’s your favorite letter you’ve ever received? Is that correct grammar?
Donnie Winter: My girlfriend once wrote me a letter with all of the words written kind of weird on the paper; it kind of looked like she just couldn't write straight. And it wasn't until I actually finished the letter that I realized she had drawn a picture using the words. So she had re-created this goofy picture we had together but in writing. It was incredible.
Brianne Dosch: My favorite letter was one that was never actually sent. While I was in Israel my boyfriend (now my husband) got this huge package together that would have cost him $80 to send so I asked him not to send it. But when I got back I finally got the package that had the shortest but sweetest letter I have ever read. All it said was “I’ve decided I can’t live a day without you. Everything is better with you around. Please come home so I don’t ever have to be without you again.” He proposed to me the day after I finally got that delayed letter. (Oh and when it comes to grammar and letters, grammar never matters if the sentiment is right. And if someone corrects your grammar in a letter, then they most likely missed the point.)
Mandy Prasad: Favorite letter I’ve ever sent: I’m not sure if this technically counts as a letter, but I think it does. In high school, I had a friend who was going to spend time out in one of the least populated states in the USA, with barely anything to do. She was kind of dreading the trip at the time. So, I put together a backpack for her with things to do, and a letter giving her crazy ideas of things to do while on her trip. It was basically a silly scavenger hunt to keep her busy. Some of the things on the list included “write a letter to the hotel workers” and “find the coolest rock in the desert.” I can’t remember what was all in the letter, but I do know that she did a lot of things in the letter and it was so fun to put together something like that. Favorite letter I’ve ever received: When I was a young teenager, my favorite auntie was off to college. I wrote her thinking I might be able to cheer her day up, and didn’t expect a response. Shortly after I wrote her a letter, she wrote me back. It made me feel so special knowing that she cared and even as a busy college student, she took the time out to write me back.
Katie Fuhriman: One of my favorite letters I've ever sent was actually to one of my best friends who was in rehab at the time. He didn't have much communication with the outside world and didn't have internet access, so for Christmas, I sent him a package with a handwritten letter, some candy, and some printed photos of some of our favorite times together. I know it meant a lot to him, and it was very enjoyable for me to be able to write to him and buoy him up. It's hard to pick just one favorite of all the letters I have received. If I had to narrow it down, I would probably choose a letter I received from a good friend of mine from high school. It came at a completely random time in my life when I hadn't heard from him in years. He was never very good at expressing his feelings, but one time he wrote me a letter, thanking me for my friendship over the years, and he included with it a note I had given him when we were 14 years old. In his letter to me, he said: "I'm a lucky kid I guess and I've been feelin extra blessed lately so I figured I'd write you and send you this note you wrote me way back when that I've been holding onto for all this time. Right before I left I grabbed it cuz reading it has always reminded me of fun simplicity. It brightens things up." I guess this letter was my favorite because it showed me that even a simple note I wrote when I was younger had an important impact on someone. It's amazing what can happen with a handwritten note or letter. We can truly touch people in a different way. It's almost like a lost art.
(Image via Cotton & Flax)
